he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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