If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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