just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
