My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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