1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize