if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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