I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
