What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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