My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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