Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
