tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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