just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
