I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
