I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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