Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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