no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
