Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Two words: blizzard sex
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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