Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
