You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
