No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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