he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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