i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
