so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he shaved USA in his pubs
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
