She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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