Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
