If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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