So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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