i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
