By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
