I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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