When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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