and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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