I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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