How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
