who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
