yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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