I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
