shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I am available for nakedness
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
