just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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