That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
