we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
