im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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