Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
