I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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