Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
