Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
