11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
