Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
