The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
