i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize