Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
