i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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