wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
