2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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