yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
