I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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