He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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