His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
