I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
