When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
