Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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