that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
